Being the goth friend like
I sit here and I’m sitting thinking of the right words and the perfect description to describe what kind of night I had yesterday. It’s really hard putting something so amazing into words and forcing the emotions onto a post on tumblr. Then people would ask me why I’m even writing in the first place and they won’t understand that one day I want to come back and remember a really beautiful moment I had with the person I am in love with.
Cristian and I went on a date yesterday. To be honest, it didn’t start out as some sweet romantic greeting where I would run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. Instead, it was full of frustration and exhaustion. (Mostly on Cristian’s part because he couldn’t give me the right directions and was the one that got mad first.) Anyway, after 30 mins from when Cristian called me to let me know he couldn’t find parking, we finally found each other. The anger and “it was your fault” attitude slip away when I saw him.
He had brought me 2 cases of water (because I didn’t have any in my dorms) and 3 pairs of shoes, so we carried those damn things in the heat for at least 20 mins. It was cute though. The whole time Cristian was offering to carry the other case of water and I shook my head. It seemed like he was worried about me the whole way there, but he let me handle those water bottles. Then we finally made it to my room on the 10th floor.
We laid on my bed to rest up and it was so nice being able to finally lay down together <3 Cristian was so cute. He was literally wrapping his whole body over mine and it was surprisingly comfortable. I wish we can always cuddle like this lol. But that only lasted for about 10 mins. :( I like cuddling now. #wantmore
Afterwards, I took him to go eat in our school’s cafeteria. This guy ate like three big ass hot dogs, man. It was kind of awkward in my perspective because we didn’t really say much and I was sort of just staring at him the whole time while he was watching football. But he said it was just him being ‘chill’. I guess in my eyes, it seems weird when people don’t talk a lot, but it just means they’re chilling I suppose.
Then Cristian and I walked downtown and we walked around. We sat in the middle of the area and just talked for awhile. Which was fun because Cristian was telling me about his day and what he learned. I love how every time we hang out, he always talks about school. LOL.
Then.. Cristian and I ended our date by making love. We drove somewhere in Silver Creek Road and park in the darkest place we could find, and had sex for the first time. I know people always say ‘don’t make expectations when having sex for the first time’ but I did anyway and it was everything I expected it to be. It was romantic, magical, hot, sexy, sweet, cute, and loving. It was everything I wanted it to be and how it was overall was how our relationship is based on-awkward, funny, comfortable, sweet, and most of all, just us. There were no soft pillows, or even a bed. No space. No blankets. No anything. LOL. It was just our naked bodies in one cramped car and our love for each other.
Before we did anything, we sat next to each other and expressed how nervous the both of us was. “My heart’s beating really fast..” “Mine too.” “I’m so nervous.” “I can’t believe we’re about to do this.” “Same.” Then finally, we started making out and slowly we took off our clothes. I sat on top of him and kissed his whole body. Then I gave him a bj and then we did 69, which ended up with him fingering me and putting his penis (which I might I add, a fairly gigantic penis) inside of me. LOL. I mean, if I can put in details how awkward but cute it all was, I would but I can’t because it just seems too funny to write down.
Sex hurt. I’m not going to lie. It was so painful and I was literally yelling 50% of the time and the other 50% of the time was telling him to go faster and putting it in more. I wrapped my hands around his neck and just stared at his face the whole time while he was thrusting inside of me. His face was sexy <3 Gah damn. I should’ve just paused and asked to take a picture. LOL Jk.
By the time we were done both our bodies were sweating hella and the windows were steamy as fuck. We had to wait 10 mins for the windows to clear up again haha. But, on the ride home, it was nice. Cristian was making sure I was okay and he was holding my hands the whole time. :)
21 months later, and we finally gave our viriginities to each other and it was all worth it <3 I love you so much, babe. Thank you so much for waiting this long for me.
I love you :)
First day of school and everything is so exciting.
First college selfie ~
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